Yes, I
fucked up. No, I didn’t mean to. But man, I had a blast.
Let’s
state the obvious first: I was drunk. Not that it is an excuse, don’t get me
wrong. Anyways, it’s the middle of February, and here in the southern
hemisphere that means summer. Yesterday it was Friday night and Josema was smoking
on my window, as we were watching “300” on the TV and discussing the
overbearing masculinity of Leonidas. I was wearing my red high heels, and he
said I had a kind of snow-white-look with my blue blouse and my white shorts.
My red lipstick shone bright on my lips; I was in for the kill that night, and
I knew exactly who my victim was going to be.
Josema
had introduced me to the very popular Diego exactly one week before. He had
become his new best friend in four months, four months that had been filling
Josema’s mouth with ever more outrageous stories of their adventures (if I may)
together. After lots of anticipation and half a bottle of rum, we came in and
Diego’s eyes locked firmly with mine.
His
house is ridiculously huge yet it wasn’t hard to notice him right away: baby
blue eyes framed by picture perfect eyelashes, topped by thick dark eyebrows
that I could only imitate with the help of industrial amounts of eyebrow
pencil. The bar fight lump on his nose lends him a badass look that somehow gives
his whole face a masculine scent that overpowers the femininity of his
pinky-red lips. Diego is freaking handsome. And if I wasn’t completely sure
that Josema is straight, I would have suspected that his good looks had a lot
to do with my friend’s bromance.
- So
here you are. –he said, with a
piercingly deep voice that goes along with his tongue piercing.
-The
famous Diego.
- We
finally meet –he replied, shaking hands with Josema.
- I told
you I was going to bring her no matter what.
- It
took us a long time, didn’t it? –he asked, stretching his arm to pick a bottle
of beer nearby.
- Good
things are hard to come by. –I smiled.
It
wasn’t long before we were mixing small talk with ever less subtle innuendos
about hooking up. Josema’s was smiling and eavesdropping around, convinced that
for the first time his matchmaker’s skills had hit the nail with me. And he was
right.
It took
us almost two beers and a half to get to his room and turn off the lights.
That, added to the half a bottle of rum I had so needlessly poured in while
drinking with Josema, accounted to a probably obscene amount of alcohol going
through my bloodstream. Not that I cared.
I didn’t
bother pretending I’m a good girl. Yes, I had met him a couple hours before,
yes, I had been suspecting this cute boy was up to no good a long time ago, but
one thing is to worry about one’s friend’s acquaintances and quite another not
to surrender to them when in person. My concerns went unequivocally out the
window; for the first time in months, I was having fun. He was in control, and
I wasn’t going to be the one to complain, but it didn’t go much further from
there that night.
We went
out of his room, me (pointlessly) trying to act cool around him. Josema greeted
us with a smile in the eyes, gave each one a beer and kept on talking about
those very significant nonsenses that make life worth living.
There
was no talk about what had happened or about me sitting on his lap; there
wasn’t even a comment on us kissing good night (though it should have been
good-morning). As soon as I arrived home I accepted his friend request on
Facebook and poked him back. We agreed on meeting the next day, despite me
having an early shift the day after that. I had been swept off my feet and I
had absolutely no problem with that.
After
waking up again it was a craze of Facebook inbox messages and pokes. We settled
the time at 7:00 pm and I took a nice hour to shower, put make-up and calm
down.
It was
going to be my first date in ages, and I had no idea how to behave after the
hook-up of the night before. I was just done with the eyeliner when Diego rang
on my doorbell. My mom looked out the window and saw his BMW Z4 coupé.
- Is
that your friend’s car? –she asked, in awe.
- I
guess so.
- He’s
really rich.
- I
know.
- How
did you meet him?
- He’s
Josema’s new friend.
I was
wearing my denim shorts, a white t-shirt and vertiginous white heels. Make-up,
kept simple: a little –tiny –bit of black eyeliner on the upper lid and
length-increasing mascara. No lip gloss or eye shadow; and I don’t even own
concealer or foundation.
- Hello
gorgeous. –He greeted me.
- Hello,
car.
- Like
it?
- Love
it.
His
laugh eased my very anxious self.
- Shall
we, then? –he asked.
- Where
to?
- I
already told you it’s a surprise.
It
wasn’t a long drive, but it was a really nice one. We went to a restaurant on
the very ocean shore, down the cliffs where my house is. I had been there
before with my German friends, for drinks, but it was completely different than
being there for a date.
- This
is my favorite place to take a girl. –He said, when we came in.
- How
many girls have you brought?
-
Counting you? –he asked. His eyes pierced mine. –One.
- Liar.
It was
inevitable to like him. Really. But certain things didn’t go unnoticed. Such as
scars from cuts on his left forearm. One of them recent; two weeks, no more.
- You
noticed them? –he said. I looked to his eyes, he looked to his arm.
-
Self-inflicted.
- It has
gotten worse.
-
Really?
- Josema
told me you’re pretty good at psych. Could you help me?
- I’m
just a student.
- Didn’t
ask that.
How
could I say no?
- Yeah.
I could.
I
lowered my gaze. He took a deep breath in.
- Wanna
know something about me?
- Yeah,
sure.
- You
know, I’m only telling you this because I really like you.
- We’ve
known each other less than twenty-four hours.
- Is
that a defense mechanism against guys that have screwed you in the past?
He was
way too honest for a first date.
- You’re
making me nervous. –I said.
- You
too.
He drank
a large sip from his cold water glass.
- I’m a
drug dealer. You can leave if you want.
Bomb
dropped. Initiate withdrawal.
- Why do
you tell me this?
I took a
deep breath, confusing silence took place for a few seconds.
- I’m
good with people. I haven’t got a brilliant mind, in fact I’ve god ADD, but
I’ve got good people skills. Know who to trust, when to. You’re trustworthy.
And I needed to get it out of my chest. –He smiled. –Sometimes you just have to
let go. It’s a leap of faith.
I drank
a sip of my Pisco Punch, and it took me some time to smile.
He was a
perfect gentleman that night. We ate, we talked, we joked around and we came
back home. I took him in, he met my mom, swept her off her feet with his charm.
We only gave each other a good night kiss.
I had
been a long time since I had felt like that. Like, being unable to shut my mind
from thinking about someone. I had an early shift at the psychiatry hospital
I’m working at the moment, but I had no desire to sleep at all. I couldn’t
forget his face, his arm, his voice. He leads such a different life from mine,
he’s a self-acknowledged bad boy. And boy, do I fancy him. Yes, I still do.
Regardless of what happened yesterday, I mean.
Anyway,
the shift on Sunday was alright, but we didn’t meet at all. On Monday it was Valentine’s
day, and since I live in to one of the busiest (and prettiest, let’s not forget
that) parts of the city, the streets were packed with couples holding hands. I
opened my Facebook and found a message from him.
Diego
February 14 at 4:43
Are there any kinky costumes for doctors? I’ve
been searching through the web and all I see is nurses.
Me
February 14 at 4:49
Nurses need kinky costumes to be interesting.
Doctors don’t.
Diego
February 14 at 5:01
True. Wanna study some anatomy tonight? It’s
the tradition.
Me
February 14 at 5:04
The streets around my house are packed with
couples, so I wouldn’t recommend you to bring your fancy car.
Diego
February 14 at 5:07
Open the door. I came by bike.
I looked
through my window and there he was. Perfect, wearing a blue t-shirt and white
plaid shorts.
My mom
had gone out, so I was home alone. Two minutes went by before we were
desperately kissing in the living room, ripping each other’s clothes off. My mom
came home just five minutes after we had brought ourselves to the kitchen to
have a snack.
- He
came by bike? –she asked, once he had left. We were sharing the same glass of
water, and I was feeling quite guilty for it.
- Yes.
Less traffic.
-
Probably it wasn’t his car, it was his dad’s.
- Or his
mom’s –I lied. I knew it was his. I knew why it is his, in fact.
Diego
had left at about 10:30, and we had shared a kiss on my front door.
- Are
you together now? –my mom asked.
- No.
I knew
she had seen us kissing.
- Are
you going to?
- I
guess so.
Tuesday,
Wednesday and Thursday went through dates and Facebook messages. All of which
then led to yesterday’s night. Exactly one week after we had met.
Josema
was smoking on my window, watching 300, laughing out loud. I was abusing of my
little snuff tin, and looking at my red-lips reflection on the mirror.
- I
wanna be Leonidas. –He said.
- THIS
IS WHERE WE FIGHT! THIS IS WHERE THEY DIE! –I started yelling, overpowered by
Leonidas masculinity.
- THIS
IS SPARTA! –he yelled, almost falling off of the window.
I fell
to my bed and spilled my drink over the laptop. It instantly shut down. First
fuck-up of the night. Didn’t care much, though. I was way too drunk. And we had
to meet Diego half an hour after that.
When we
arrived I was obviously wasted and he was talking to a blonde, curly-hair pale
girl. They were on the slippery verge between small talk and flirt. I supported
myself on Josema, which meant holding him from the back and laying my arms over
his shoulders.
- Hi. –I
said to Diego, looking at him straight in the eye.
- Hello.
–He said, visibly surprised. He got up and tried to give me a kiss, which I
gracefully dodged.
- Hello
man, sorry, we were… –Josema started saying
- Come
here. –Diego said, pulling me aside.
- You’re
really drunk. –He said.
- I
know.
- Why
did you come so late?
- I was
watching 300 with Josema.
- Up
until 12 at night?
- We
also sang Glee songs? –that part was also actually true, and my mom had told us
to shut it because we were awfully out of tune. But it only made him look at me
in clear and honest anger.
- I’ll
get you a cup of coffee.
- What’s
so wrong with being drunk? You and Josema get drunk all the time.
- It’s
different.
-
Really? Why? ‘Cause he’s a man?
- You’re
my girlfriend.
- No I’m
not. We haven’t talked about it. Answer the question. Is it different because
he’s a man?
- Yes!
Now let’s go.
- No!
Out of all people I thought you’d be the last one with double standards.
-You’re
drunk, you’re not thinking right…
- Look
who’s talking.
- What
do you mean?
I
released myself from him and stomped my way back to Josema.
- What’s
wrong?
- Your
friend here is a hypocrite, that’s what’s wrong. –I said, not being too quiet.
Josema
was talking to a girl and a guy. The girl was his usual type: lots of make-up
and a do-me attitude; the boy was my usual type: tall, thin, pale, not the
greatest sense of fashion, laid-back attitude. He only missed the glasses and
the geek status, but he was alright for the purpose I had in mind.
I knew
Diego was looking at me, so I started flirting lightly with Jack
(tall-thin-pale guy). Josema was focused on the girl, so he wasn’t paying much
attention. I put my elbow on the table, (trying to look) interested on what he
had so say. It didn’t take Diego one minute to come along.
-
Seriously? –He said.
- What
do you think you’re doing? –I replied.
- Is
there a problem? –Jack asked.
- Not at
all. –I replied. –Jack, wanna go outside? It’s getting hot in here.
Diego
stormed out as I went outside with Jack. We sat on one of the benches on the
garden.
- I need
to talk to you. –I heard. It was Josema.
- Oh,
you too?
I stood
up and walked towards him.
- What
the fuck are you doing? –he whispered, as soon as I got next to him.
- What
you do every Friday night.
- What
about Diego?
- What
about the double-standard guy?
- We’re
leaving. –He said.
- Too
many people, dear. I’m leaving. You can stay as long as you want.
I turned
around to see Diego talking to Jack.
- We’re
leaving. –I said.
- Good. –Diego
replied.
- Wasn’t
talking to you. –I looked Jack straight in the eyes. –Are you in? –I said,
turning to Jack.
- Er…
- I’ll
be outside.
I
stomped my way out (for the second time) and kept on walking when I left the
house. Josema was calling me on the cell phone, so it turned it off. I kept on
walking. Just when I was about to go back I heard Jack’s steps.
- I’m
in. –he said.
We took
a taxi to my house, and we kissed on the back seat. When we arrived to my house
my mom asked if it was Josema the one with me. I lied and told her he was, and
then I started laughing. It all had just hit me.
I fucked
up, I know. Jack left my house five minutes after and when I came up my mom
asked why had Josema left.
- He
wanted to sleep on his bed. –I answered.
When I
came back to my room I saw the bottle of absynth my German friends had brought
me. It was empty, next to my laptop, which was fried. I tried to turn it on a
couple times, but it didn’t work. No internet, no Facebook, no Diego, nothing.
Yet I was on a very contradictory good mood. And very, very drunk.
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